Diarrhoea Shmiarrhoea !

Not exactly what I had expected, which is to wake up at 6.30am nonetheless, and rush to the toilet. It was later in the day that I had realised that it was food poisoning that I was suffering from. I wasn't the only cursed victim of the packet of old ham slices, my sister and my younger brother suffered the wrath of an uncomfortable stomach too. However, as they are younger than me, their bodies have already created pre-antibodies for such things (stupid medical efficiencies ! ). Unfortunately for me, I will always be the one who has to suffer the worst of the worst !

Not only did the toilet be my new bestfriend, but swallowing Panadols and other little pills became an hourly ritual of total discomfort ! Although, skipping tuition wasn't so bad ... hehe ! I'm in the Christmas mood ! Sue me !

Okay ! Enough about my bowels and the parody of it's contents ! As people may have noticed. I had been away for sometime. My dad conveniently forgot to pay the internet bill and so, took his time to do so. This is why my blog looked dead for awhile. Anyway, it's great to be back ! WoooHooo ... !

Last Monday, I had bought Madonna's new album: Confessions On A Dance Floor after watching Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire ( HPATGOF) for the third time, it's acually quite good to listen to. I love it ! HPATGOF in my opinion was a downer. Yes ! Eventhough I watched it for three times ! Maybe I expected too much from it ?

Ok ! I Gotta Go ! I hear soft whispers of the JAMBAN ( toilet ) calling out to me ! Conrad...! X3

I'm kidding ! Sheeesh ...!

-conRad-

B In The Mix !

Did I mention that I was bored ? No ? ... Well, I'm BORED ! ... Stupid un-fun holidays ! I was disappointed deeply today because the book, A Million Little Pieces, had to be special ordered ! I don't know how the process goes ( I was to shy to ask a worker ! They all looked pretty busy ! ). Maybe Denise can help ? But the idea of getting the book was put off because money might be a factor ( The book could cost almost >RM50 ! ). I don't want to buy something that expensive !!! I could use it to buy other stuff ( like Britney's ; B In The Mix: The Remixes coming out on November 22cd or QAF's season 3 DVD , etc. )

After aimlessly walking from Times Square to Sungei Wang Plaza and finally to Bukit Bintang Plaza, I decided to head home because fulfilling my errands turn out to be a big bust ! ... I rushed home to see my Uncle and his family from Petaling Jaya. I wanted to see my 8 month old cousin ! She's so cute ! Each time they visit my family, I can't hold her because it's either I'm sick or away from home !

I held her today ! Finally ! She is so cute ! So cuddly ! So cute ! ... ( okay , the word cute appeared more than it should ! :) ) ... But after awhile, she started crying. Turns out, she's in her cranky period ! Nevermind, I got to hold her ! Happy, happy me ! I love her baby-ish smell ! Hehe ... !

Now, I'm listening to urban beats ! It's not really my thing , but anything is good, as long as I'm not bored ! Huh ?! Is Jojo's: Baby It's You an urban beat ? Since when ? Oh well !

-conRad-

Dirty Little Secret ... who has to know ?

After last night, I saw a glimpse into my future life, and I so didn't want to be that person ! My mom and I had to go to Suriya ( a pub which my dad once co-owned ) to pick my dad up. I was there for about an hour and a half. This place usually entertains nobody but my dad and his friends. The business only survives on my dad's friends and the friends of his friends ( which isn't many ! ).

In this pub alone, you are able to find many different characters, different personas, all of whom I cannot stand. So yesterday, as I stepped into that pub, my face contorted into a fake smile. The smile which I give to all of my dad's friends !

Anyway, as I waited for my dad to finish his game of cards ( I had no idea what they were playing ??? ), I looked around and the thought hit me, like a light bulb lighting up ! I might turn into these people !

I might be sitting in the same place of that dingy, smoky, smelly, alcohol filled pub, with the music blasting, people shouting and I enjoying it !!! The thought scared me ! I didn't want to be in there anymore, but the cruel hand of fate tied me down. I watched everyone there closely. Picking up pointers on what not to do in the future ! I gulped down the last of my second Mango Malibu drink, secretly hoping that I got drunk ( this stuff wasn't strong at all !!! ).

When I finally reached home, I realised that getting drunk wasn't any answer ! Being drunk just numbs the truth for awhile ! I thank God that everytime it didn't work, when I tried to get drunk ! I know I have foolishly done things out of the blue, but I have never felt more proud of myself then right now ! I have managed to handle myself much more better than last time ! I know life will have it's hurdles, and I may trip and fall in every way, but I know I'll get up sooner or later, with a better understanding... :) Just forgive me if I tend to lose hope first. I know I'll find my way ... ( suddenly it sounds very sappy here ... but I don't care ! )

Just so you know~ Dirty Little Secret is playing now ... I have dirty little secrets, don't you ?

-conRad-

A MILLION LITTLE PIECES

...of the ups and downs called life (http://www.randomhouse.com/nanatalese/millionlittlepieces/)

Nightmares !!! Aaargh ... ! Who knew that The Exorcism Of Emily Rose would be so disturbing ? It has been a long time since a movie disturbed me so much ! What's wrong with me ? I woke up countless times, luckily it wasn't 3am ! ( the time has it's significance in the movie ), and dreamt up countless nightmares ! Stupid me ! I knew I shouldn't have watched it ! Stupid ! Stupid ! Stupid !

Because I had such a bad sleep, I got even more sick ( the usual fever and a cold ), which in turn, made me miss school ! The day droned on and on with me basically helping around the house ! ( Trust me ! I'm not that good, I only did the helping to rid the nagging fact which was, I was BORED out of my skull ! ) ...

I caught a little bit of The Oprah Show, it was something about people surviving unsurvivable stuff ( like stage 4 cancer, etc. )... but then Oprah showed a promo on her next book to read for her book club, the book is : A Million Little Pieces by James Frey . Her cast and crew members swear by it, that the book is a provocative, engaging, and inspiring story based on the life of James Frey ( the writer ! )

So, I went online to oprah.com to check the book, to read a little snippet! I read the first few lines, James Frey describes and explains a lot in a somewhat droned boring voice. I felt total boredom arising in me, again! However, I can't explain why I still read on ? I finished the whole excerpt provided, James' writing is simple yet it pulled me into his world ! Maybe the book is written this way, to tell you no lies, a sense of honesty is created and to create an understanding of his world ! I wanted to know what happens ! I want to see what all the hype is about ! I got to have the book ! James Frey is no J.K. Rowling nor is he Joseph Conrad. His story, according to Oprah, gives hope to everyone ! I so gotta read it !!!

-conRad-

I'm Not Afraid !!! Really, I'm Not !!!

I'm not afraid !!! Really, I'm not !!! So, The Exorcism Of Emily Rose ( TEOER ) is a true story, I watched at Times Square with Rubana and the gang. School happened to be a total bore because no teacher wanted to teach a class of six !

In school, at about 9am, I met Rubana lazily walking past my class. She just arrived. I was bored, so I asked if she would like to accompany me to Samping to eat, she accepted the offer ! She said something about teachers not bothering ...

In Samping, I had decided to tag along later, to watch TEOER. It just opened in theathers ! The movie got me thinking about my religion, sacrifice and life as I live it. There were some facts that scared me shitless! It made me afraid yet strong and proud of my faith...

Needless to say, I was so freaked out because of the movie, that I had a sleepless night. The 'boyfriend in the dorm' scene was etched in my mind forever ! ... sheesh ! Talk about paranoia !

-conRad-

KAHN-rad...

Ok, so according to my family tradition, on every eve of a family member's birthday, we give out the presents ! It just so happens to be the eve of my young brother's birthday ! He turns six tomorrow ...

Today, school was a bore, again ! 10 arrived to school, 5 remained till the end, 4 kept company and 1 chatted with me till timed passed ( Li-Shia ) ...

Looks like tomorrow will be even worse ... Studying maths with no friends ! How am I ever going to get through that ? This time, it's a guaranteed sleep fest !!! ... At least I finally have the new bio practical to look forward to ... catching bugs and preserving them ! Cool ! ( well, not so cool when you see it squirming in silent pain, struggling to break free from the pangs of death ! ) Oh well ! Not the end of the world ... ( the cruel reasoning taken in the name of science ... hehe ! ... I still managed to slide in a snicker ! )

WOW ! Just tried the new F&N Blazt ( a mixture of orange and mango ), truly a carbonated blast ! [ ...free advert intermissions provided... ]

Suddenly it occurred to me, I wanted to know the meaning of my name ... uuummm... I already knew the meaning, but I wanted to get a deeper insight to it's origin, and so, like a good computer user that I am, I Googled it ! :

Conrad

CONRAD
Gender: Masculine
Usage: English, German Pronounced: KAHN-rad
Meaning: Derived from the Germanic elements kuon "bold" and rad "counsel". This was the name of a famous 10th-century bishop from Switzerland. It was also borne by several kings of Germany. In the English-speaking world it has been common only since the 19th century

Edmund

EDMUND
Gender: Masculine

Usage: English, German Pronounced: ED-mund

Meaning: "rich protector" from Old English ead "rich, blessed" and mund "protector". Saint Edmund was a 9th-century king of East Anglia who, according to tradition, was shot to death with arrows after refusing to divide his Christian kingdom with an invading pagan Danish leader. This Old English name remained in use after the Norman conquest.

Bateman

And like any good computer loser ... er ... I mean 'user', I came to an abrupt halt in searching the meaning of my surname as there happened to be about a thousand records depicting it's own version on my surname ...wonderful !

-conRad-

My Funny Friend And Me !

...What a wonderful day ... *singing at the top of my voice* ... Oops ! I have company over at my house right now . It's my neighbours. Not particularly bothered to go down. Not really in the mood, that is, to go down and greet them and create small talk just so that we please them with little snippets into our lives. Yeah ... I'm not in that mood !

Today was the first day of school (during the holidays *sighs deeply*). Woke up early just to get to school in time to open the U6BM class. Darren, the class monitor had passed down every single thing concerning the classroom, to me, forgetting that he and his classmates would have to use it again today and for the rest of this, and next week !

I arrived very grogily to school only to find Shiqin and Allan waiting outside our class, the electricity wasn't supplied yet ( this explanation sounds as if we still live on tree tops!...the common mistake which foreigners make when referring to Malaysia ! ). I opened U6BM and traveled back to my already very noisy class. They were eating already ! Their faces stuffed with pudding !

I complained a lot ( to myself ) on how difficult being a monitor is ! Although Li-Shia would know, as I had whined to her when I passed her along the corridor.

Chem class wasn't bad at all. Had lots of laughs, all because Mr loves to ridicule everyone in a funny way. After chem class ended, the number of students which was 22 had reduced to 5 students when the rest just decided to get up and leave the school compound. All running away so as to not suffer through maths and bio. I remained, my skipping class days are over, I have seen the light or so they say !

Whilst waiting for Mr.Leong to enter, I had a fun chat with Li-Shia, we laughed a lot, poking fun and cracking jokes, talking about nothing and everything ! To my surprise, Mr.Leong never entered class, Li-Shia and I were talking for hours non-stop ! ( Uuummm... well we did stop, but not too long, we had a bit of outside interference ... hehe ! ) ...

Bio came and went, just like the rain we had, and soon, I was on the train home with Hui Fang. Tomorrow will be a stressful day, more classes, lesser students and angry, frustrated teachers! ... Can't wait till the week ends, but I'll miss all the talking I could have done with my new found friends ( well, they're not exactly new friends now, Eh ! you know what I mean la ! )

-conRad-

I Love QAF !!!

Boring ! Boring ! Boring ! If this is what my holidays are going to be, might as well I just kill myself ! Everything is so fucking boring ! Even to blog becomes a damn burden ! Right now I just feel like screaming till my voice is hoarse and my throat bleeds !!!

BBBBOOORRRIIINNNGGG...!!!

Aaahhh ... that felt better ! HeHe ! :p

...make me an instrument of...

Everyone is full of shit ! I am full of shit ! Why do I keeping denying the life full of secrets ? I may type and feel this way now but I still will live this lie ...

Life Sucks ! That's the tag line for most of us ( even if we tell ourselves it isn't ... ). That phrase has been stuck with me since the big economic downfall of Malaysia !

Fuck ! Does shit always have to happen in a whirl wind ? I guess it's how you handle stuff that determines the strength of the "winds of change", right ?

Sometimes, life seems so tragic and yet it seems so rewarding. How do I stand on the positive end of a cliff when the earth beneath is cracking ? How ?

when Hamlet said, " ... To be or not to be ? That is the question ... ". What was he really thinking at that point ?

I'm still working on what I say, " To choose one path of two, or to stay between gravel and tar ? That is the question ! " ( What load of shit !!! )

Fuck Me !

People come and people go, some stay for life and some stay awhile, others stay and demand, whilst others flee in droves ... I live through people and end up unhappy !

One reaps the life and the other sucks blood ... which is thy friend ? One pulls you up the other just stares ... which is thy friend ? Tell me ... which is thy friend ?

I look into a mirror, I see someone else, I look at my reflection, I see the skin tear !

My eyes hurt from the sting of waters , the well runs dry yet flows abundantly ?!

You see but do not feel, You hear but do not say ... Runaway ! Runaway ! Thy ears are falling rotten ! Runaway !

Bitter is the heart of hearts ... Love does not beat within ... Hate resides in the wells of time !

Time ! Time ! It's never enough !

The lies I hear ! The lies I hear ! Screaming ! Shouting ! Screeching !

Every core of my being, bleeding ! Bleeding !

Red ! Blue ! Green ! and Yellow ! , Purple ! Grey ! Orange ! and White ! All turn the hearts to coal of Black ...

Why ! Why ! No ! No !

What's going on ?

What's going on ?

-conRad-

Photographs III ... ( The Celebrations Of Light )

Where do I begin ? ... I woke up at around 6am to get ready for church ( All Saints Day ). We drove to Infant Jesus Convent only to be met with a closed gate. Soon, a nun came and told us that the priest had called up at the last minute to cancel the mass, and so my family headed to the Holy Rosary church in Brickfields. After mass, we went to have breakfast in what looked liked a ghost town of Brickfields. Thus is the situation, when every Indian family is at home, busily preparing for Deepavali and for the guests which are about to arrive. The breakfast I had was very heavy ( Hardly could walk back to the car ), we didn't have to pay a single cent, everything was free till 10am ! Cool !

At around 11.30am, I headed to Sonia's grandmother's house. Everyone was so busy, Sonia was shouting ( typical ) and I was talking and doing a lot of wishing ( saying, Happy Deepavali ! ). I stayed around there for awhile, then Sonia and I left to Tinesh's ( Toch ) house. It took us quite awhile because Sonia's friend was a bit late ! She was so impatient, she can't stand waiting for people who are late already ! We reached Toch's house and found Buzzy, Shiqin and Shook Yee already there... We talked awhile and got to know Toch's mum. When more guests arrived, mostly Toch's ex-school mates, Sonia and I had to leave. Sonia had a crowd of friends about to go to her house ! So we rushed back to her grandmother's house, ate a little, talked somemore, and traveled back to her house.

At Sonia's house, I helped out a little. When her friends arrived, they all were surprised to see me ! I thought they would be used to it by now ! The whole house was in a commotion, friends here and there, twinkle running up and down, me talking, and Sonia laughing ! After awhile, I went to have my bath ( Yes ! In Sonia's house ! ), and when I came down, I was in a Jeepa ( An indian traditional costume ), which Ee Mun took the liberty to point out that I looked like a groom waiting to be married !!! ... As time passed, the house was filled with even more of Sonia's friends ! ... Sonia and I patiently waited for our school friends to leave first, we had to go to Thiru house next !

However, we made a small pitt stop to Kash's house, we wanted to see his parents and wish them a happy Deepavali too. Finally, we headed to Thiru's place, we played with fire-crackers ( which are acually banned in Malaysia ), ate a lot, talked about total nonsense, laughed, got to know a few people, rekindled with old friends and I, made a new friend !

Yesterday, I came home with a very full stomach and slept off like a log and woke up today at 12pm ! But later in the day, today!, I went to visit my mom's friend for Deepavali.

Today is the last day of fasting for the Muslim community ... To everyone who celebrates, especially my friends ;

Selamat Hari Raya - maaf zahir dan batin ... HeHe !

Oh ! ANJALI ! if you are reading this and you celebrate Deepavali, then I wish you A Happy Deepavali !!!

-conRad-