Situations Situations

I try very very hard not to do anything on weekends. I feel it's my relaxing period but by doing so, my work never finishes. I most of the time put myself down when I disappoint people. Guilt is a strong feeling. My biology project is nearing it's dateline yet I haven't even completed my part of the work given to me. I ask myself why am I so lazy ?

I guess I'll never understand why ... maybe it's because I'm still rebelling against my parents and the situation they've put me in. I'm severely stressed. But, I've made it a point to not breakdown.

Maybe if I stop whining here, then maybe I'll get some work done, eh ? ...

-conRad-

Mr. Ghana Knows My Name !!! *stunned*

It started out like every other day, meeting Sonia on the LRT, walking into a noisy classroom, chit-chatting with everyone about useless things that have no significance in the eyes of everyone else. Typical.

Most of us, students, were aimlessly walking here and there. Our empty heads filled with nothing but fluff, shamelessly wishing that everyday was like today. Stress-free. After much persuasion, Shook Yee dragged Jeniffer and I all the way to the sports heats which she was taking part in. Her category was long jumping. Pn. Hasnani spotted me and hollered me to go where she was. Surprisingly, Mr.Ghana knows my name. Each time he pronounced it it gave me a chill down my spine ! I have no-idea why ? They both wanted me to get stopwatches from the lab for them. I was more than happy to do so. Unfortunately, it only takes one idiot to ruin one's mood. A certain prefect just had to show more authority over others and so, 'ordered' me off the field ! How dare him/her ! Little piece of "@#&#&@!!I*74$u#@" !!! ...aaaaaahhhh... Shook Yee didn't pass but at least she gave her best !

After our earlied recess, all Non-Malay students had to sit through a talk given by a Mr. Manir Raj whilst all the Malay students were in the big hall ( Maal Hijrah ... I think ? ). At first it was quite interesting. He started by saying that a mosquito kills. Okay ... not the best way to start a talk but it got the ball rolling. Li-Shia was the first to answer Mr. Manir's question. Tik Han did the same thing somewhere in the middle of the talk. Mr. Manir was asking Tik Han to hold imaginary statues and place threads trough the ears. Mr. Manir mentioned there were three statues but somehow a fourth was thrown in which confused me into oblivion. I lost interest in the talk rather quickly but Li-Shia seemed to have enjoyed it. ... I think ? ... :)

As the talk ended, another one begun ...( just great ! ) ... Tam and I went to get the birthday cake that was supposed to be shared by Alan ( who's birthday is today ), Chien Fei, Tana and I. We were accompanied by two uninvited pests namely Shook Yee and Jeniffer. Apparently I'm the honey these bees need. WoW ! *rolls eyes*...

So my class celebrated my birthday a week earlier by pushing my head into the cake .... mmmmm.... chocolate ....mmmmmm.... ! I missed the small party because of Phak Hoe's impromtu meeting. Anyways, I still had cake to eat. No Complaints !

The rest of the day is only worthy of a few 'blah's'. So ... bla bla bla .... tuition with Denise, Suzanne, Tinesh, Stephanie, Desiree and Lai... sat next to Desiree, who was so tired and kept dozing off on my shoulder ... bla bla bla ... P.A class was boring ... teacher bragging ... bla bla bla ... took the LRT home ... and finally, blah-ing here. :) .... ( a sure sign of when I'm too tired to blog anymore ). My bed is calling.

*whisper* ... Conrad ... Conrad !!!

-conRad-

Me No Understood Eengliesh ?

According to Pn. Vasantha, the reason most students in my class can't write an essay is because all of us have stopped reading. For me, this is so true. I have not read since the last Harry Potter book was released. Pn. Vasantha gave us a topic "Science Promotes Wars, Yes Or No?", two weeks ago, and yet I couldn't come up with anything to write. Recently, she gave the topic "Give 3 Important Reasons To Have A Successful Life. Justify Your Points"-provided with 5 different but interesting points as a skeleton for the essay. Sadly, I couldn't even complete this essay within the given time ! Deep within me is a shocked Conrad. The Conrad that's asking why-la ?

It scares me to think that I might lose my ability to write. I believe that my writing isn't up to par, it isn't like everyone else's. Maybe I'm digging too deep. At least I decided to begin reading again. I'll see the results later. I thought if I stopped reading, I could concentrate more on studying Chemistry and Biology. Never did I think it would've back-fired on me this way. I love reading ... at least now there's a very good excuse to start reading again ! Moral : Don't think too much, it obscures the functions of common sense.

On a different note, I found a new place to get birthday presents ! Denise and Suzanne wanted to check out the shop ( it was a Peter Hoe-boutique? ) on the second floor in the same building our tuition centre was at. So, Jino and I tagged along. To me, it was like a candy store ! Everything I wanted for my future home was there ! Pillows ( oh sweet RM10 pillows ! )! Decorations! Plates! Lamps! Candles! ... I still haven't found a proper reason why I need 2 small pillows worth RM10 to buy for myself ! As soon as I figure out a good one, I'll run to the store like there was no tomorrow! ... ZOOM ! ...

My grandmother is in Johor Bahru, my parents will be fetching her back tomorrow. I decided to stay home. WoooHooo !!! I'll be home alone for about 10-12 hours !!!I wonder what am I going to do tomorrow ? Sonia isn't free, Stephanie can't come over, and the rest of the world ? ... most probably busy ... *screams loudly* FINE !!! SEE IF I CARE !!! ...

*sighs*

I guess I could study ?!

*snickers* :)

I'm too lazy to type more stuff. I guess I'll stop here then.

*whiny voice* I'm bored...!

-conRad-

The First Day Of School ( In A Manner Of Speaking )

I drove to the LRT station today. According to me : It was a fairly good drive

According to my mum : *shrieks* " We were lucky
to be alive !"

On the way to the station, Sonia kept calling and calling because she was at the station already. Sonia has patience the size of the tip of a needle ! As you can see, ... not a very good morning ...

To be honest, the best thing of the whole day was Li-Shia giving a rather innocent "Hi"( very loudly) , as I was descending the steps to the form6 block and then asking me for a flying kiss ... which I gave rather happily ... =)

Somedays I just wish there would be no lessons at all in a day and all of "us" ( friends ) would get together and just chat our heads off. ...That'll happen as soon as Britney tells the world that I'm her "husband" and that she carried my "child"... which probably means ... NEVER ! ... Oh This Cruel World !

*sigh*

-conRad-

Individuality

I sat on the balcony ledge today, enjoying the strong breeze of the forth coming rain. It smelt like curry !? Most probably a neighbour nearby cooking curry. I wanted to relax and enjoy the peace. My Punjabi neighbour had a Sikh meditating song which was rather pleasant and calming. Times have changed. I never have such resting periods like this.

It's weird how I'm dreading the day I turn 19. I don't want to be older ! I don't want to be mature ! Stupid time-machines ! How come nobody has created one yet !!!

I started thinking about my place in the world. It dawned upon me, whilst on the balcony ledge, that 70% of the world's population is most probably lying/fake in representing who they are. I think I'm part of the 30% left, I guess ? Do I portray myself as someone else ? Definitely not ! I have lied before but I know I can't hide my true self. Now you see the real me ! But, there are parts I don't let out. That's not hiding ! Everyone has secrets and so do I !

Then I realised that the nett population of the world is ever so increasing ! Therefore, it's hard to just be yourself when all of a sudden you see another YOU walking down the road ! There are too many people to have an identity of your own. Children model off after other people or people they look up to, somehow, we evolve into them. ( Do you get what I mean ? ... sometimes my points rather jumble up and it all ends up more confusing than ever ! )

This sense of evolving repeats and increases and increases ! How many individual roles are there in this world ? There's most probably another 'Conrad' thinker out there in let say, Jamaica ? Germany ? Latvia ?

There's billions of people,how do we stand out ?

Like a gush of wind, eeerrr... literally, it hit me ! Why bother about what is a probability ? You can start just being yourself right now ! Who cares if there MIGHT be another me or you out there ?! If there is, YaY me ! Everyone is an individual by the choices they make. It's what makes you and brakes you that say what you are !

Silly me for pondering too far. My mind loves the probabilities of life.

-conRad-