Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Malacca Post

My computer at home is giving problems ... AGAIN !!! So I'm doingmy first post from Malacca, from my cousins house, by the sea ... :)

There's so many things to share but so little time ... There was The Darkened Christmas Mass ( Silent Night ), or The Jam-Packed Open House and The Boxing Day Gone mad and many more ...

How sad, that all my days weren't shared at all...

and now, I'm too lazy 2 type nymore ...

so goodbye for now

-conRad-

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Too Much Fun

I guess I had too much fun yesterday. It was Sonia's birthday outing organised by her devoted boyfriend. We spent the whole day with friends at Midvalley Megamall. To add cheer to the celebration, Megamall had a few Christmas shows. It was snowing at one end, and, at the other end, there were performances by lavishly dressed performers.

So, today, I'm suffering a hangover of too much fun. I woke up early, to go to church. Then I had dim-sum for breakfast. When afternoon was nearing, my mum started her spring cleaning regiment, that's when the hangover started to kick in. I felt severely light-headed and I threw up in the toilet.

I decided to rest and sleep, by the time I woke up, it was evening. Oh well, at least I'm ok now.

I have not been using any exclamation marks because my keyboard is finally reacting to that hard fall it had a few weeks ago. All thanks to my mum's spring cleaning in my room.

My poor, sad, sad keyboard...

Goodbye...

:]

-conRad-

Friday, December 09, 2005

The Birthday, The Present, and The Very Long Flight.

It's ... SONIA'S BIRTHDAY ...

Ok, so it is technically not Sonia's birthday anymore, but, who cares ? Who said you couldn't celebrate even if it's past a day ?

My family left to the Kuala Lumpur International Airport [ KLIA ] to see my Godfather off. On the way to KLIA, usually one would pass a lush green forest of palm oil trees, unspecified species of greenery and also catch tiny glimpses of housing estates and a small town. It got me thinking about life there. I imagined myself happy and at peace. It put a little smile on my face, places like these give me a slight sense of comfort.

But, my heart raced when I realised that there were no shopping malls, no cinemas, no Starbucks and Coffee Bean and most of all no party life . It was then did I realise that I am a "city boy". Maybe I'll learn to live in a quiet town once I'm old and grey.

In KLIA, I did a little shopping to get Sonia's birthday present. I finally settled on a fragrance set from Body Shop. My godfather and his family, along with a few friends, were fashionably late, and when they came, everyone was kinda happy to see each other. We were all standing around, chatting and laughing, the flight was delayed you see.

Uncle Trevor was up to his usual upbeat self, always cracking jokes here and there, making all of us laugh non-stop. He tried to give my aunt a ride on the baggage cart, he said we are all young at heart. HaHa ...

Everyone got kinda bored waiting in front of the "checking-in" counter, so we moved to the viewing lobby [ where you see the plane depart and arrive ]. My brother and my cousin's cousin, Estella, were livid when they both saw planes coming and going. Children...

Anyways, soon the time came for my godfather to depart. My grandmother didn't go to the airport because she was scared she would be too emotional. She cried a few times for a few days. Within our tight circle of friends and family, the atmosphere was tense and sad. My godfather said his goodbye's and so did we. Some of us dropped a few tears but oddly enough I didn't, I'm usually the over emotional one .

My cousin had tons of advice thrown at him. My mum, my dad [ his godfather ], aunties, and his godmother kept reminding him that he was the "man" of the house now and that he should not cause any trouble and that education should not be taken lightly. I have nothing but sympathy for him, because, no teenager wants to be reminded of his or her responsibilities ... believe me, I know ... we already know what we have to do, stop making us feel drowned ...

After all that stuff, we all headed home, I was a bit sad. A new song by Il Divo featuring Celine Dion was a nice comfort to listen to on the way home, it was called " Believe In You".

Later, at around 9pm, Kash, Thiru and Matt picked me up to go to Sonia's house to give her a small surprise. We all had cake [ brought by Shamelan... it was 4kg...] , chatted, and took pictures. Sonia opened my present and yelped quite loudly, she seemed to like the present, I hope so ? ...

Now, I'm here, at home, with a splitting headache, praying and worrying, that my godfather has a safe flight to England and that he has no problem at the customs in England. He brought a few knives in his baggage [ not hand luggage ] ... what do you expect from a chef ? It's a very long flight ... I'll miss him ... hope he remembers to declare those knives in Heathrow Airport .

-conRad-

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Kudos To My Godfather !

My mum grew up with no father, he passed away when she was two. Life for my grandmother wasn't easy at all, before and after the loss. She took up multiple jobs and my mother stopped her education at the age of 17 to help support her family which also included two younger brothers.

Now, the youngest sibling in her family, is my Godfather. Life in Malacca isn't easy. He is a chef now, who was allocated to almost every place in Malaysia since he's career begin ! He has a family to support, so, for the past two years he has been searching for good offers in many places to support his wife, son, and mother ( my grandmother ).

Opportunity came knocking on the door when an airline and event catering company offered him a very good job . But, here's the catch, it's in Heathrow ! England ! And his Visa, it doesn't allow him to return to Malaysia for 5 years (except for holidays, and that's if he gets leave from his job) !

Thank God for my mum's family, she has cousins all over the world, and now, they're offering to open their homes to my godfather. I'm just happy that my godfather has found a good paying job. He's been struggling, but nothing kept him down !

He has 2 months to find for a knew place in Heathrow ( time limit that the company gave him ). It's just sad that he'll be away for awhile . Time flies. Lets just hope 5 years is a breeze through time.

-My Godfather, Ernest John Noah, thought me how to ride a bicycle, he thought me how ride on a motorcycle, he thought me how to never give up and how to enjoy the finer things in life. -

Kudos !

-conRad-
A Christmas Snippet !

More spring cleaning !!! The thing I hate doing before Christmas is, spring cleaning !!! We, as in my mom, sis n I go from room to room cleaning and wiping, sneezing and fighting, coughing and singing, throughout a course of two weeks. Sometimes it is fun but at times I just get bored. This has been a regular routine. I have been doing this since I was born !

*Silent Night, Holy Night ... *

The best part is ... CHRISTMAS is on the way !!! WoooHooo... !

*Joy To The World ... *

Hhhhmmm... What should I get for Christmas ? I have everything I need ? ... Hhhhmmm... Dilemma Betul ! :)

*O Holy Night, The Stars ... *

Merry Christmas Everyone !

-conRad-
R.AGE

A page for youths to open and share ideas.

Monday, December 05, 2005

I Don't Need To Re-Assure Myself :'(

I need a remix for my life. Many things I try finding answers to. I close my eyes hoping everything changes. I know it's called DENIAL but it comforts me, lets me forget the hauntings of reality. Funny...

I'm scared. My grandmother ( my dad's side ) is suffering from alzheimers disease and she doesn't know. I've been impatient with her countless times. Partially because she brought me up where, being a child is unforgivable. Everything I did was wrong and my truth were lies. Yes, I should let my harbouring hurt go, but I find it hard. :) Now, I'm afraid, afraid of her making mistakes, forgetting simple things, I'm just afraid of the unknown. I can't handle ... ( I can't find the word or sentence to help explain how I feel )... I'm just scared.

I was enjoying life earlier, I was out Christmas shopping. But, God slapped a handful of reality to my face. Grounded. That's what I feel . Shackled to the earth's dust, which we came from.

I'm lost for words. Too lost . My loneliness within this body, is killing me. How do I deal with someone who doesn't want to believe she is sick ? How do I deal with this disease ? It's not a punishment to her or to me. It's just being part of the cycle of life. But, it feels like punishment !

I cannot handle people being sick. Especially her ! I can't feel pity towards her, I don't want to ! She made my childhood a painful memory... But I can't make her sickness a painful memory either.

AAArgh ! :'(

WHY ? WHY ? WHY ? !

-conRad-