Glimpses Of The Past ( Nobody Should Have To ... ! )

I finally get it ! I understand how some people who have so many distractions in life manage to set it all aside and study. They channel everything they have, be it anger, frustration or hurt into something positive, something ... well, like ... studying !

Now I have all this pent up anger which can be put to good use. Acually, it kinda works ( I don't really waste much time anymore ... I guess people like Denise and Li-Shia kinda unconsciously gave me a good smack on my head ! ... Ouch ! ... Thanks guys ! )

Before my grandfather passed away and before I had a maid ( I don't have one now either ... she was sent back 2 months after my grandfather passed away ) my grandmother just ruined any part of my life that was and is happy. She is starting back everything all over again. The good thing from this ? ... More anger to fuel me to study ! I bet by now Li-Shia *terpelanting* already ! :)

I'm determined to not let the past creep back up on me. I fell through it's clutches once and I'm not letting my siblings go through it. It was no proper way to live. Imagine everything you did or said was wrong, having fun was not mature for someone like me, I'm ugly for not being fair skinned, and if you are fair skinned, it's still not fair enough, you were born pre-stupid, and having an outside life is extremely sinful. My grandmother ( she can dwell on what she wants till kingdom come ) was born stupid and that's one gene none in my family inherited !

-conRad-